Log in

No account? Create an account
Bitten: dear god, please tell me this show has been cancelled - A Home for the Poetically Deceased [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Never mess with the sacred chickens

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Bitten: dear god, please tell me this show has been cancelled [Mar. 21st, 2014|08:09 pm]
Never mess with the sacred chickens
Oh, Bitten. What can I say beyond that this is without a doubt the worst TV show I have ever seen - and I say this as someone who has watched a lot of bad TV. A LOT. And yet I am still watching because it's also the saddest show ever. I mean, not only is this show too cheap to have more than about 5 minutes of CGI for the entire season but they're too cheap to pay for acting or fighting. In fact, I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that this show was cast by rounding up the thinnest people they could find and handing them a script. THE FIGHTS. OMG THE FIGHTS. They're the sort of fights you would see in a comedy as mock bad fighting. I mean, even if you can't afford fake werewolves, at least you could show fights where people are clearly coming somewhat close to touching each other. And then there's the horrific hair of Our Hero, which possibly may have consumed the entire budget of the show in hair products.

And then there's the values. Okay, so not only is this some wet dream of a misogynistic fantasy where only men get to run around and reproduce themselves (why bother with those messy, gross women who just want to pick drapes and moan), but women are apparently too weak to handle becoming a werewolf. Except for our heroine, of course. Whom our hero somehow magically knew would be capable of surviving the ordeal...hence he bit her on spec. And, apparently, we are supposed to believe, out of love. Oh yeah, and if you're not in a pack (even in the crappiest of crappy packs that our horrible good guys belong with) you are evil. And a mutt. And to ram this home every single mutt currently being recruited by the evil guys is some sort of child abuser.

And yet I still watch because this show is so pathetic and so awful that I feel pity rather than the contempt I should. I've got to be the only person still watching this sad, sad excuse for a TV series and its horribly haired hero. There can't be too many other masochists on my level.

Um. So yeah. Oh, but I did see Pompeii which was AWESOME. You will come for the volcano and stay for the evil Romans, the Pompeian independence movement, the tsunami, the magic horse people, and everything else. Kiefer Sutherland chews scenery like Shatner in his prime and clearly enjoys being the evilest Roman ever to evil his way across the Roman empire.

[User Picture]From: nutmeg3
2014-03-22 03:38 am (UTC)
I gave up about 10 minutes into the second ep of Bitten. I just...couldn't. The hero looks like a whining weasel. Her city boyfriend was at least eye-candyish, but he was clearly going to get dumped in favor of Mr. Non-Personality (that hair is all he's got), and everything was so badly done that it was truly bad, rather than craptastic. Clearly you have a bigger heart and a stronger stomach than I do.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: lesbiassparrow
2014-03-22 03:41 am (UTC)
It's so horrible. I do record it and ff through most of it out of some pathetic sense of pity for all involved. BUT GOD WHY MUST THIS BE SO BAD???

I am enjoying the lunacy of Helix, though. So thanks for that recommendation.

And happy belated birthday!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: nutmeg3
2014-03-22 06:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :-) I'm 3 eps behind in Helix because I was away, but I want to catch up by Friday's season (but I hope not series) finale.

Have you read the books Bitten is based on? I'm wondering if they're as bad as the show, but I don't have the stomach to find out for myself.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: lavidaessueno
2014-03-22 11:01 pm (UTC)
I have read some of the books, and I didn't much care for them. The same author has a lady assassin series, though, that I really enjoyed.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: lesbiassparrow
2014-03-23 03:21 am (UTC)
They have to be better than the show. They could hardly be worse. But the entire appeal of werewolves as manly men who run in a pack and apparently haven't noticed the progress in values during the 19th century, let alone the 20th or 21st centuries, just eludes me. They just seem like massive dickish neanderthals with fur issues.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)