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Never mess with the sacred chickens

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The Hobbit II [Apr. 11th, 2014|12:38 pm]
Never mess with the sacred chickens
So, I've been watching this again now it's been released on DVD and personally think that the entire message of The Hobbit is the people in authority are fucking morons and should never be listened to ever:

Exhibit I: Gandalf. Yep, huzzah, let's go and wake up a dragon and stuff so we can unite the dwarves. And I'll just feck off on side-trips while you're going about that plan that will NEVER EVER WORK and stuff (does he even have a plan for how to kill Smaug?). Also I will not think of gold-sickness, how you will kill the dragon, orcs or remember any of the ill-omened stuff about the ring for the next 70 odds years

Exhibit II: Thorin. Great beard, nice hair work in the breezes, but can always be counted on to be as thick as a brick and not compromise ever even if it will mean the failure of everything.

Exhibit III: Thranduil. So, there I am on my elven throne doing elven things (mainly brooding about Valinor and how to condition my hair probably) and just letting the forest around me get all spidered and eviled up because that stuff never spreads. Nope. Never going to come through our doors DESPITE 90% OF ELVISH HISTORY BEING ABOUT IMPREGNABLE HIDDEN FORTRESSES BEING DESTROYED BY CREEPING EVIL THAT WAS IGNORED. Are we sure these people are singing about their past when they say they are? Maybe they just like to sing their shopping lists or how to get really shiny locks in time for the 50th festival of the year?

Exhibit IV: Elrond. Just because. 6,000 some years on this earth and his advice is still crap. Also, incapable of ever working out Sauruman is evil despite his exceptionally obvious power trip.

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