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Never mess with the sacred chickens

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Jupiter Asceding [Feb. 9th, 2015|05:34 pm]
Never mess with the sacred chickens

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Bitten [Feb. 6th, 2015|07:52 pm]
Never mess with the sacred chickens
I though nothing in the world could surprise me, but how has this managed to get a second season? Going by the trailers they still have the same budget and acting skills.

(Er. Not sure why it was this piece of proof that we live in an unjust world that brought me back to livejournal. I've missed you all!)
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Outlander [Sep. 11th, 2014|06:05 pm]
Never mess with the sacred chickens
I'm a bit ashamed to say how much I am enjoying this. Though it does show me that I would be the worst time traveller ever. No loos! No showers! No rights! Though, of course, this also has comely Scottish men to counterbalance that. But unless Jamie's chest sprouts unicorns and puppies and rainbows on a regular basis it really can't make up for sanitation and modern medicine.
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The Strain [Aug. 27th, 2014|10:37 pm]
Never mess with the sacred chickens
This show has taught me that the human race will die out because seriously we are too stupid to live. A taxi driver will sit in a car waving his hands saying 'what is this' as the lizard tongue guy smashes his tongue against the window, rather than drive away. People will not take the slightest effort to see if the crazy man, who previously had a responsible position and was listened to, might be telling the truth about maneating beasts. Not even if he has video.
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There has to be an ultimate worst movie, right? [Aug. 23rd, 2014|09:58 pm]
Never mess with the sacred chickens

You know how you're convinced that you've seen the absolute worst film ever made and then suddenly you see The Spirit and find out that you've been deceived and there is even worse dross out there to be explored?

Yes, well, that sort of just happened to me. What the hell is that movie? How did someone look at that film and not say, 'we should burn all copies for the good of mankind!'?
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(no subject) [Aug. 12th, 2014|12:54 am]
Never mess with the sacred chickens

I have seen so many ads for Outlander that my head is spinning. I hope they go whole hog and even have that totally creepy sexual healing scene at the end of the first novel. Complete with all the naked running around.
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Jaws 3 [Aug. 6th, 2014|09:27 pm]
Never mess with the sacred chickens

I cannot imagine how they went back to the well after this one. Saddest shark in the history of representations of killer sharks. Plus bonus crap 3d effects that can't have been effective even back then.
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My god, it's been so long [Aug. 5th, 2014|07:28 pm]
Never mess with the sacred chickens
So I made a pathetic attempt to catch up on people's journals and gave that up to be ventured upon again at some other time. It's been so long since I've been on, that I am ashamed that it was only during watching the magnificence that is the film Mortal Combat that I felt the irresistible yearning to be on LJ again.

Summer has gone in a snap. Did some travelling, much of which was stressful in different ways, had lovely visits and not lovely visits from people, took on a new admin position at work which has been ridiculously stressful for totally dumb reasons. And now I am here watching Mortal Kombat, having watched about 5 movies with the words 'mega' and 'shark' in the title over the past 2 days, and thinking about what delights will await me at work tomorrow.

So, how are all you lovely people?
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City of Bones [Apr. 19th, 2014|10:48 am]
Never mess with the sacred chickens
Well, this is one of those films that makes you embarrassed for everyone involved. People talk about Twilight as revealing awkward facts about someone's id, but this has that beat right into the ground. It's also really hard to respect a demon hunter called Jace. He sounds like a substance you use to clean your loo.
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The Hobbit II [Apr. 11th, 2014|12:38 pm]
Never mess with the sacred chickens
So, I've been watching this again now it's been released on DVD and personally think that the entire message of The Hobbit is the people in authority are fucking morons and should never be listened to ever:

Exhibit I: Gandalf. Yep, huzzah, let's go and wake up a dragon and stuff so we can unite the dwarves. And I'll just feck off on side-trips while you're going about that plan that will NEVER EVER WORK and stuff (does he even have a plan for how to kill Smaug?). Also I will not think of gold-sickness, how you will kill the dragon, orcs or remember any of the ill-omened stuff about the ring for the next 70 odds years

Exhibit II: Thorin. Great beard, nice hair work in the breezes, but can always be counted on to be as thick as a brick and not compromise ever even if it will mean the failure of everything.

Exhibit III: Thranduil. So, there I am on my elven throne doing elven things (mainly brooding about Valinor and how to condition my hair probably) and just letting the forest around me get all spidered and eviled up because that stuff never spreads. Nope. Never going to come through our doors DESPITE 90% OF ELVISH HISTORY BEING ABOUT IMPREGNABLE HIDDEN FORTRESSES BEING DESTROYED BY CREEPING EVIL THAT WAS IGNORED. Are we sure these people are singing about their past when they say they are? Maybe they just like to sing their shopping lists or how to get really shiny locks in time for the 50th festival of the year?

Exhibit IV: Elrond. Just because. 6,000 some years on this earth and his advice is still crap. Also, incapable of ever working out Sauruman is evil despite his exceptionally obvious power trip.
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